Falk was born in Leipzig and grew up in Dresden, East Germany. When we first met I grilled him about what it was like to grow up "under communism." As we dated, I asked more questions and decided to write some of it down so you'll have a little background about this man I'm about to marry!
Did you want the Wall to come down?
I wasn't sure at the time what I thought. I didn't really know what it meant. I was in Berlin for New Year's 1989 and the people up on top of the Brandenburg Gate were having a good time but they were also damaging the monument.
I wasn't part of the student demonstrations although I happened to be in Leipzig at the time that they occurred. I observed mostly as an outsider.
Are you glad now that it happened?
Yes. It had to happen – the socialist system couldn't be sustained under those conditions.
Did you believe in the system that existed before 1989?
Sure. Of course. I was well integrated. I was only seventeen when the Wall came down. I was taught in school that we should uphold socialism and that it was the best system for people to live under. Actually, the only vow I've ever made in my life so far (I'm not married yet!) is one that I ended up breaking: to uphold socialism under the DDR system and to fight for it. I didn't do anything to prevent the Wall from coming down.
We were told in school that capitalism was not a good system because it made many people poor and that in the end that means you don't have as much freedom.
I think that may be true, depending on what freedom means.
(Author’s note: it means being free to drive a large car!!)
But you weren’t free to say what you wanted to about the government.
I complained to a teacher in high school that I was tired of learning about what Honecker said and wanted more variety (Erich Honecker led the DDR from 1971 until 1989). I didn’t get into trouble for that, although I suppose I could’ve.
People who were older than me had to be more careful. You could say what you wanted to among close friends and family, but outside of those circles you really couldn’t. You didn’t know who to trust.
At holiday gatherings my extended family would have heated political arguments about our government. It always became very emotional.
Did you feel trapped?
Trapped…not really. We're not birds so we can't fly and we don't try to. Moving or "escaping" wasn't an option I considered. I didn't really consider wanting to live anywhere else. I was embedded in the DDR system, my family all lived (and still live) in Dresden, and I had no reason to leave.
Were your parents or anyone you know in the MfS (Ministerium für Staatssicherheit or Stasi) or who were IMs (independent secret service agents)?
By 1989, 1-2% of the population was in the MfS or IM, so I'm sure I knew someone who was. My parents weren't, although as a teacher my dad was frequently asked if he would be. I don't know exactly how he deflected those requests. They would call him into the main office at his work and ask if he would help them.
Now you can ask for your Akte, or reports about you that were kept. I don't know if I have any -- I haven't checked yet! But my uncle has a big stack. He was a dissident and put into jail.
Why was your uncle put in jail?
In August of 1961, he and my mom went to Berlin to look at the wall that had just been put up. They were taken into custody and questioned. When it became clear that they had no intentions of leaving, that they’d just taken their Arbitur (final school exams) and were just looking, they were released.
A few years later my uncle went to Hungary and got too close to the border. I don’t know if he was trying to escape or not, but since he was too close to the border he was put into jail for a few months. My mom’s family had no idea where he was during that time.
Did you know anyone who escaped?
One girl from my school did, Karin. Her parents escaped first and then she went about three weeks later. Since I went to a special science and math school in Dresden, it was especially bad that a student from this so-called elite school had left. It reflected poorly on our school.
The director of the school and the MfS authorities came and asked us how well we knew Karin and her family and if we'd heard anything about how they escaped or knew any details. She was given a really hard time. They were sure she had been told that her parents were leaving although she maintained she didn't know anything about it. Once your parents left, if you were still a minor you were allowed to go to them.
Was life what you thought it would be or could be?
My parents paid less than ten percent of their monthly income on rent for our apartment, no one was homeless, I went to an excellent school, we had plenty of food, ate ice cream, and went on family vacations to the sea or to (what was then) Czechoslovakia.
These were things that I expected from life. And these expectations were met.
Many people older than me were oppressed during that time and some of them were miserable. I didn't know any differently. My grandmother saw three regime changes in her lifetime!
What else did you do for fun?When we were little, my brother and I played in the sandbox in the neighborhood playground. My dad had a small toy American military jeep -- that was my favorite thing to play with in the sandbox. How he ended up with that toy I don't know.
When I was ten until I was fifteen, I was part of a reptile and amphibian club. We'd wander through the forests learning about frogs and snakes and turtles. I love the orange-bellied newts in California, too.
Summers I went to a youth camp for a few weeks. We would hike, swim, and play games. I got sick one year and had to go to the infirmary. All German kids love Milchreis (like oatmeal) except me. And since I wouldn't eat the Milchreis, they didn't think I was well and wouldn't let me leave the infirmary!
(Author’s note: this author adores Milchreis.)
We received awards on school outings for my orienteering skills, finding wild pigs, and chopping wood. I still have one of mine for chopping wood:
What made your school so good?I qualified to get into a special math and science school. We had small classes, most of the teachers were good (they were all at least knowledgeable, but not always so good at conveying that knowledge), and the industry and universities supported us. I got twenty Marks, which was a lot of money at the time, from the centralized bus and truck repair industry, to spend in a book store for being the best student in my class. We could also take classes at the university if we reached that level.
Did you work in factories as part of your school education?
Yes, once per week we spent the day working in a factory. The government made money off of our products. Although I didn't like the dirty factories and our teachers were very strict, we learned the process of product production and how to be very precise. We learned how to be an efficient German worker.
(Author's note: Falk found a tripod like one he'd made at a flea market and gave it to me for my birthday. It's transportable and attaches to almost anything, even Juniper trees.)
Why did you collect recyclables from homes?
We would go apartment-to-apartment collecting paper, glass, aluminum (Altstoffe) with a big cart. All school kids did it to raise money. I was really shy about it at first and didn't raise much money, but with time I got more comfortable with the concept. People expected us to come by and saved the scraps for us; they were glad to get rid of them. We did it about three times per year: once so our school could donate the money to a developing country, once to raise money for our annual field trip, and once just to make money to spend.
Now people just bring their own recyclables to the neighborhood sites.
Did you lack for anything?
I had everything I needed.
The things we couldn't get, like certain varieties of food or goods, we didn't need. There was plenty of meat and alcohol but not such a variety of fruits and veggies. It was exciting to get bananas, or a banana (they were rationed one per person), at Christmastime, but I didn't miss bananas in the summer. I also really liked the little toy Matchbox cars some kids received in gift boxes from the West.
What about a car?
If you wanted a car, a Trabant or anything else we could get in the DDR, you submitted a request for this car. Ten or fifteen years later, your car was ready to be purchased!
There was a long line for things like this. That frustrated a lot of people. My parents didn't need a car to get to their jobs so they never applied for one. They always took the streetcar, as did I. They could've made a lot of money off the request form, though, if they'd held onto it for awhile and then sold it. The older the car request form was, the more money it was worth, since it meant the car would be available sooner.
Did you live under socialism or communism?
I was taught that we lived in a socialist society headed toward communism. We weren’t there yet; it would take several generations to achieve the ultimate goal of communism.
When I still believed in the system, I thought it existed the way it did to achieve this goal of communism and I supported that. It's like the 2nd coming of Christ: some people hope for it and think it will happen but don't know exactly how it would take place.
Do you think communism is possible?
Communism is hard to define. Marx and Engels criticized their society but didn’t write so much about the future. Lenin wrote a little bit more about what communism could mean for future societies.
I do think that people who work should own the production facilities, and that's a basic tenet of communism. That's what the cooperative movement in the US is working toward as well.
(Author's note: woo hoo Pedal Express!)
Why is communism such a bad word in the US?
That only started during the Cold War. People in the US were afraid the Soviets might invade the US. Since the Soviets were supposedly communists, communism was a way of life of the enemy and became a word with negative associations. The Soviets weren't really communists, though, according to any of the definitions I've ever read.
Depending on how you define it, some people think communism threatens capitalism because it is in direct contradiction to principles like the "rights" to own property, to invest money to make more money, and the freedom to make bookoodles of money.
Socialism and capitalism can work swimmingly together. Look at Sweden.
Were services easy to obtain?
No. The lines for goods and services were always long. If your bathtub flooded or you had some other plumbing issue, you called the plumber. It took him (it was a him) about a week to show up. That was problematic. But the socialist system we had wasn't based on supply and demand, it was based on central planning.
It helped to know people and have friends. People would store things in their cellar and if your car or radio broke and you needed a part, if you were lucky someone you knew might be able to help you out.
To people in the West, this sounds like a terrible thing. It's not. It's actually good not to be able to get or purchase everything you want or, in some way, need. We directly depended on each other.
DDR Volksmund
"Es gibt alles! Nur nicht immer, nicht überall, und nie das, was man dringend braucht!"
DDR saying
"We have everything! Just not always, not everywhere, and certainly not what you need right this second!"
Did you have a telephone?
No, nor did most people. When I wanted to meet with someone, I went by their house, made appointments beforehand when we were together, or left a little note on their door. The main door downstairs to the apartment buildings weren't locked like they are today.
Did you have a TV?
We did have a black and white TV with two channels. I loved being sick from school because I got to watch TV all day and eat Zwieback (special crackers). Weekdays we had movies for old people on the first channel and educational programs on the second channel. I watched channel 2!
My dad would watch sports on Sunday afternoon. It meant the weekend was over, I had to do homework, and that I didn't have my dad's attention anymore. I still get a little sad on Sunday afternoons.
Did you have family in the West?
No, we didn't. A lot of people did, though, and they sometimes got care packages from the West. The mail control people rifled through the care packages and took things out, so sometimes it was only half of a care package by the time it finally arrived.
What did people get in those packages?
My friend Birgit's family would receive chocolate (lots of it), oranges, coffee, money, and baking ingredients like raisins or cinnamon. Other people would get toys, clothes, and even laundry powder. Our laundry powder, called Spee, was fine but nothing special and sweet-smelling like in the West. My brother's friend was a little bit bigger than Uwe and this friend got clothes from the West which tended to be more modern and sometimes more colorful. Then my brother inherited them. It's funny to see him in pictures in these clothes and next to me in the regular East German clothing.
What was prohibited to send in these packages?
Printed materials, records, sex toys, and medicine were strictly prohibited. Some people tried it anyways, but most people in the West knew what they were allowed to send.
Where did your clothes come from?
Most of our clothes were made in Russia or the DDR. They weren't very colorful but they were practical and lasted for a long time. I still have some of my shirts today. My mother would sew us clothes sometimes. She even made her own wedding dress out of beautiful, white, lacy curtains. It was a simple and elegant design. Her sister-in-law did the same thing. 
She could've afforded a dress. She liked her own design better than what was available, and plus she likes to sew.
What did you do in the Young Pioneers?
It was similar to the scouts. We would meet weekly and go on field trips. We had a special uniform with a red necktie. I still have mine.
Was it a means for brainwashing?
Sure. Young Pioneer leaders didn't do it more than leaders anywhere else within the DDR. We were taught to uphold socialism and what a great system we had. We weren't taught to think analytically about things and decide for ourselves what a good system is or isn't. It's the same in most other places too.
How did you heat your apartment?
We used coal. My parents would order coal and the truck would come and drop it off outside our building. Luckily, we had a window from the outside of the building straight into the cellar, so I shoveled the coal in that way for storage. Others from other apartments had to carry it in buckets into the cellar. Throughout the winter, we would bring the coal we needed upstairs. We burned the coal in a stove in the kitchen which heated up water that was piped through the radiators into the rest of the apartment.
Was that bad for your lungs?
Yes. The air quality in Dresden at that time was atrocious due to burning coal and factories. It's much better now -- some apartments still use coal for heating but not very many. Now we just buy gas from Russia and support corruption instead. I have allergies still today but I doubt I can blame the coal for that.
Did everyone burn coal in their apartments?
No, some people had central heat that went on full blast September 15th and off April 15th, no matter what the weather was like. You couldn't control the level of heat: it was either on or off. There's a joke:
How do you know it's winter in the DDR?
All the windows are open!
Did you interact with the occupying Russians?
No. We all had to learn Russian in school and that was as close as we got.
The Russian soldiers didn't have families here, only the officers did, so there weren't many people to have contact with. The kids had their own schools, the families had their own stores with their own food and vodka, and it was all very segregated.
Every other year at my school there was a "friendship meeting" with a Russian school. It was strange and a contradiction, though, because they tried to avoid personal contact but wanted to have official meetings every year establishing a relationship that was otherwise discouraged.
Exploring through the woods we'd find remnants of the Russian military training: ammunition, tools, bunkers, etc. Once my cousin and I found a deer they'd killed near their bunker with the guts and meat eaten out of it. The soldiers were always poor and had terrible living conditions. The winters were the worst for them.
My drawings reflected that I saw the Russian influence around me when I was little-- many of them have Russian flags on rockets and trains!
Did you receive mail from outside the DDR? Did they open your mail?
I didn't receive mail from outside the DDR because I didn't know people outside the DDR, but I knew a guy who collected stamps from all over the world. He's still got all of his stamps carefully sorted in an album and loves to show them off. He got so much international mail -- without even a letter inside or anything -- that the MfS got suspicious and stopped delivering his international mail. He was crushed, to say the least.
When you wrote a formal letter, you usually signed off "Mit Socialistischen Grüßen," which means with socialist greetings. Now we just write "Mit Freundlichen Grüßen," or with friendly greetings.
Did you seek out news from the West?
Dresden lies in a valley, and the rest of the DDR called us "Tal der Ahnungslosen," or the valley of the clueless. We were the part of the East that didn't get TV or radio from the West.
When I went to Berlin, I watched TV, I gobbled it up. I listened to the radio too.
Were your parents satisfied, do you think, with their jobs in Dresden?
They were both teachers, and teaching was a privileged position. My dad taught history and German and my mom taught art and German.
My mom didn’t like teaching after she had two kids because it took so much time. She wanted a job where she could have more time for us, but once you’re a teacher it was hard to get out of that position. Since my dad was also a teacher, he helped her switch to a job at an art museum. The art education funding was better there and she could get home earlier, so she ended up really liking working there.
What happened to your parents after the Wall came down?
After 1989, my dad lost his job. This happened to lots of people in Dresden and the East. We still have a 17% unemployment rate in the East. There simply aren't enough jobs for the people who are here, and we have a brain drain too. My moving to California doesn’t help that.
It was hard on his pride not to have a job…and it still is. He's been unemployed since he was 45. My mom is still working at the art museum. She's in charge of requesting money for her department and there's never enough. Before the Wall came down there was more money for art and art education. Now she complains about the lack of money.
My dad gets some money to live on, but it's not much. My mom could retire but she wants to receive her benefits in full so she'll work for another year and a half.
